Coping With Criticism

     “I bet people kill themselves because of you. You are terrible at your job.” This statement is a criticism I once received while I was working on a crisis line that helped people who were considering suicide. What prompted the criticism was that the individual called multiple times daily and I was the one designated to give the individual some limits on how often they could call. Over thirty years of leading churches I have been told that I am too judgmental but also told I’m too soft. I have been critiqued in person and on social media over various issues. Everyone who leads anything receives criticism, it is part of life. How do we deal with it?
     First, embrace your Christian identity. As a Christian at the core of who I am I believe that I am loved. Loved so much that God paid the highest price to have a relationship with me. He sent His one and only son Jesus to die on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins (John 3:16). This position of being loved by God helps combat any people pleasing tendencies that we might have. Of course, we all prefer to be liked and loved by others but because of God’s love that helps us stand alone if necessary.
     Second, acknowledge my own sinfulness and brokenness (Romans 3:10-18). The Bible is
clear that we are born broken because of the sin of Adam and Eve. None of us have to be
taught selfishness, we arrive in this world with that. This honest view of ourselves should
encourage us to actually hear criticism. Sometimes the critic is correct. Sometimes the
decision we made was not a good one. My dad used to say, “sometimes the critic is the only one telling you the truth.” Actually evaluate the criticism with an open mind. If you think about it, at times criticism is a gift. Granted I admit it feels like getting tube socks for Christmas, but a gift, none the less.
     Third, evaluate the source of the criticism. You do have to look at who is criticizing you.
There is a difference between your wife of three decades pointing out something and the
constantly negative co-worker who is complaining to you or about you again. There are
negative, toxic people and their comments are rarely worthwhile because they typically share more about themselves than you or the situation. Sometimes leaders falsely believe that if they just did it or said it better there would be no criticism. Remember Jesus, the only perfect person to ever live (and also fully divine), was criticized constantly. If He was criticized, you will be criticized. As a matter of fact, your Christian identity will most likely lead to more criticism not less. Jesus said he came to divide people against each other (Luke 12:51-53). Although this statement sounds counterintuitive, Jesus reveals that following Him often results in conflict. Families or friends may be separated or have conflict because He demands a response. You either believe He is the Son of God and came to die for your sins or you do not.
     At the end of the day, success for a Christian is when he or she stands before God and hears “well done good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23). Let’s deal well with criticism and learn to live for an audience of One, God Himself.

Pastor Derek Dickinson
Journey Christian Church