The Beauty of Friendship

     I recently spent some time in Indiana where I grew up.  I had the privilege of reconnecting with old friends again.  While there my eighty-one-year-old mother asked me to drive her an hour to visit a long-time friend of hers.  I took her to see her friend who now lives in a memory care unit in Plainfield, IN.  When we got to the room her friend lit up with recognition.  She could not remember mom’s name, but she remembered that she was her friend and that she loved her.  It was a delightful hour spent with old friends reconnecting as best they could when memory has many holes.  These are some of the moments that make life worth living.  When I think of the beauty and power of friendships I think of the life of King David in the Hebrew Scriptures.
       The standout in David’s life was his best friend, Jonathan.  The Scripture says he loved David “as he loved himself” (1 Samuel 18:1).  This friendship is remarkable because the cost for Jonathan was high.  Jonathan was the prince of Israel, in the minds of most he was going to be the second Jewish king.  However, God had chosen David.  Jonathan was a godly and humble man, despite the personal cost he agreed and did what he could, even fighting against the evil intentions of his father Saul towards David.  Jonathan was the picture of loyalty.  Friendship is loyal.  
       Some of David’s friends do something remarkable for him, they heard him mention that he longed for a drink from the well at Bethlehem.  Three of his mighty men, his personal bodyguard (Josheb, Eleazar and Shammah), snuck behind enemy lines and retrieved some of the precious water for him.  David was so overwhelmed by their devotion to him that he poured the water out as a special offering to the Lord (2 Samuel 23:16).  Look at their desire to refresh David.  This is such a beautiful aspect of friendship.  We can offer refreshment in simple yet meaningful ways.   It’s knowing your friend well enough to know her favorite coffee and you carve out the time to drop it off at her work when she is having a hard time.  Friendship refreshes.
      Nathan is another example of a deep friendship in David’s life.  Nathan was a prophet and spiritual advisor to David.  The King had descended into great wickedness.  He lusted for Bathsheba, then slept with her. He followed up this act of adultery by ordering a hit on her husband when he found out she was pregnant.  The reputed to be “a man after God’s own heart” was for the moment, fully embracing his shadow side.  Amid this mess steps in a prophet named Nathan, a friend of David.  Nathan artfully gets the king to condemn his own actions by telling a story, then hits him with the truth that the very despicable actions he condemned were done by him.  Nathan loved David enough to confront him.  This confrontation was no small matter, under the law David could be executed for his actions, yet Nathan calls him out.  A true friend will love you enough to confront.  Do you have a friend like Nathan?  Are you a friend like Nathan?  Most friends will comfort, be a better friend and be willing to confront. David eventually understood the value of this kind of friend; it appears that years after that painful confrontation David and Bathsheba named a son Nathan!
     These friends of David give us a robust picture of the beauty and value of friendship.  If you have friends like David thank God for them and show them your appreciation.  But more important strive to be a friend like Jonathan and Nathan and David’s mighty men.  Stay loyal, refresh when possible and confront when necessary.  Cherish your friends and be the kind of friend we all would want.
 
Pastor Derek Dickinson
Journey Christian Church